Countryphile

We are all familiar from our gardens of the well-known tits, great tits, marsh tits, yellow breasted tits, etc and not forgetting those famous blue tits, a common sight in our gardens when the weather turns chilly. Those that go out into the countryside may also have – on occasion – glimpsed a booby or too, roaming free out in the wild.

Of course, leaving tits and boobies to one side for the moment*, those of you who like scrabbling about in the bush may have witnesses a sweaty twat or two lurking in the undergrowth, or even seen a large purple-crested willy poking its head up in your direction as you rambled past on your peregrinations.

Of course, no true countryphile will even consider sallying-forth (providing Sally is still in the mood after the third) without a pair of binoculars, a camera and a notebook to record all his and/or her sightings of British wildlife seen on that particular day. For as the record numbers taking up such outdoor pursuits as dogging, naked orienteering and other such open-air diversions of a naughty, and – quite often – stimulating, nature, it is now not only shepherds and other such rural folk that are enjoying frequent intercourse with the natural world. Therefore there is plenty for countryphiles to witness and enjoy as they secrete themselves into some nearby bush.

*Unless – of course - the lady in question is lying on her back at the time, in which case they will tend towards both sides.