Condiments and Conflict

Obviously there are some in this world who – for reasons of their own, no matter how deluded – put their mustard on a lower shelf than those of us who are more enlightened about these matters would normally wish. Notwithstanding the fact that we would all – well, most… some of us, just me and you it seems – would like to live in a free world here such matters of conscience are left to the individual, there is something galling about the way some people have the temerity to store their condiments.

Of course, putting recent political scandals to one side for a moment, we would all regard the fact that when the now-former MP for Little Puddle by the Wayside was caught engaged in some rather unsavoury activities involving both freshly-ground black pepper and certain choirboys from a nearby cathedral, it seems that more people were aghast at the fact that he stored his pepper in a jar on the kitchen window-ledge rather than what he was up to under those cassocks.

Still that is the world we live in – or so it would seem from the media, who seem to occupy a world very dissimilar to the one we spend our time in. But anyway, all I can say is: mind how you go and be careful where you put your mayonnaise.