Political Infections

Anyway, there we were, standing next to the politician, despite the danger.

Some of us were, of course, rather nervous despite having the necessary anti-politics inoculations and all of us – for Health and Safety reasons well outside the reinforced anti-politics cage.

Everyone knows just how infectious politics can be. Many people have heard of, or even know, some one who has – often though no fault of their own – become infected with this debilitating disease. Perfectly ordinary people going about their normal business often have – in the past – suddenly come down with a very bad case of politics.

In the past, it was assumed that there were two strains of politics: known popularly as Left-wing and Right-wing, and a popular folk cure in those days was to counter a sudden outbreak of Left-wing politics with a good dose of the Right-wing ‘alternative’. However, recent research has conclusively proved that there is little or no actual difference between the two strains except for a few trivial side-effects. Both are equally deadly to the thought-processes of those infected and merely offering a counter-dose of the opposite strain more often than not increases the amount of political infection in the patient, often to the complete despair of anyone unfortunate enough to be in the vicinity of the infected person when the politics breaks out in the victim. This is often where infection spreads; hence the invention of both the anti-politics vaccination program and the development of a political infection-proof coating for various places where politicians are known to gather.

Recently, though, there have been some encouraging signs with the number of people getting infected with either strain of political infection on the decline, probably through the use of the counter-measures outlined above. There is even talk of the entire world becoming – at some point in the near future – completely politics-free, something that even a few years ago would have been dismissed as a naïve utopian fantasy, but now looks almost achievable.