Sandwiches in Peril

Obviously… or not… there was not much she could do about the incipient danger of an attack by zombies, not without imperilling the integrity of her egg mayonnaise sandwich, anyway.

This is a problem so often overlooked by makers of sandwiches, both those that make the sandwiches themselves at home, and those made commercially for sale in sandwich shops and other such retail outlets.

Surely, it is about time that the UK government - or failing that, the EU – looked into the whole matter of sandwich robustness, especially when facing some out of the ordinary peril such as zombie attack, alien invasion or someone being accosted as they go about their business by some person paid to annoy, pester and/or irritate other people for commercial or other such purposes.

Keeping, say, a salad sandwich from losing all its tomato, or having the aforementioned egg mayonnaise oozing out of the back of the sandwich can be a traumatic experience, even in the calm of a local park or civic garden, let alone at the workplace desk during the normal working lunch hour or whilst going about one’s business on a busy thoroughfare.

So, when you risk dropping the cucumber from your sandwich as you flee the rapid fire lasers shooting from the fleet of an invading alien horde, it is bound to call into question the whole concept of a sandwich-based lunchtime economy and is one a growing number of us feel ought to be addressed by some governmental agency, or even some supra-governmental agency or institution, perhaps by sponsoring scientific research into increasing the robustness and long-term integrity of the sandwich and its filling, before we are faced with that – surely immanent – zombie apocalypse and/or alien invasion for which our current sandwich technology is - so obviously - woefully unsuited.