My Beautiful Goat

Is that a chip shop in your pocket, or are you moderately pleased to see me?

My chin is not that green, Ursula, and these are the freshest stoats in the shop. My banana will be your friend and we will go down to the seashore to see how we can eat fresh haddock whilst standing on one leg.

I have seen all the things that need to be seen. I have done all the things that need to be done.

Oooh, look! String!

This is a shiny thing. This is a bright thing. We will stand enraptured by the bright and shiny until something brighter and shinier comes along.

Now, we go home. The way back is not easy, especially when wearing new underpants.

I know of the car park. I know of the shopping centre. I have eaten of the noodles at midnight.

This is not my beautiful house. This is not my beautiful goat. But I do have all the string you could possibly need.

Here is the chin.

Here is the hand.

I have real legs, y'know. Not bad at my age, is it? You can't beat real legs, no matter what they say.

Oooh! Look at that!

….Oh, it's gone now.