Close Encounters... with a Fridge

Not that I expected it.

Well, you don't, do you? At least, I didn't. After all, when you get up in a morning it is not the first thing you expect to see when your bleary morning eyes focus long enough to see what is in your kitchen.

At first, I thought it was the dog, but the dog was there sitting in the hall, looking guilty. Guilty for the usual reason, I thought, so I was watching the floor, being careful where I put my feet when I heard the noise from the kitchen.

It took me a few seconds to make sense of this, still staring at the floor ahead of me.

Then I thought, burglar?

I looked around for a weapon; I fumbled around in the nearby cutlery drawer and came up with... a spoon. All the knives were – apparently – in the dishwasher again. The dishwasher was – of course – in the kitchen. Briefly, I wondered what the penalties for savagely spooning a burglar in one's on home were, before another noise from the kitchen caused me to creep towards the kitchen door, trusty spoon clutched in my quivering hand.

I looked back at the dog for support, but he just whined and looked away, obviously embarrassed by the spoon.

In the film, the cartoons and all that usually the first words are: 'take me to your leader.'

However, the alien I met in my kitchen, rooting through my fridge, its first words to me were, and I quote: 'Where's the bacon?'