Spangle Trimphone became world-famous little more than five years or so ago now. Surprisingly enough, it was not her record-breaking score on the then latest quiz show phenomenon Name That Cheese! ™ that gave her this coveted celebrity status. That did initially demonstrate her rare intelligence when she successfully identified a rather tricky Sage Derby hidden under a tiger in a dense jungle. However, it was more that as she danced around the studio in victory it became increasing apparent she had mislaid her underwear before appearing on the show.
After that, it was increasingly obvious that Trimphone’s real talent lay not in naming cheeses, despite the inherent mass appeal of such an ability in the entertainment world. It became increasingly apparent her true mass appeal lay in her ability – or rather her inability to remember to wear any underwear when out in public.
Soon Trimphone was so famous that she didn’t need to go to any hip happening club, party or award-ceremony as other celebrities do. All she had to do was when getting out of a car – anywhere on the planet – jump up and down a bit until every photographer there had enough photographs of her lack of underwear, and then Trimphone could go home.
However, her fame turned fleeting when a jealous ex-lover revealed that at home, Trimphone always wore underwear. He clamed too that sometimes she strutted around at home even without any other clothes to cover the underwear up. He claimed too that Trimphone had accounts with some of the world’s most exclusive lingerie retailers in the world and had more pairs of knickers than the entire female population of Ipswich put together.
Not only that, her fall from grace was complete when a tabloid newspaper revealed that she didn’t even like cheese. A disgusted populace turned away from her in droves. Soon she had no choice but to return in defeat to the tawdry comedy quiz show circuit to earn the minimum necessary for her to remain a celebrity, despite her fall from grace.
[Books by David Hadley are available here (UK) or here (US)]
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