It didn’t happen exactly like that, of course. Although, for a time, it convinced several of the more excitable tabloids that both the politician and the lady of marketable intimacy were both found naked together in the bath filled with strawberry Angel Delight at the party conference.
However, as the Minister for Intimate Probing of the Wrong Sort did later issue a statement to the press. In it, he claimed that it is part of his remit to explore other forms of crime prevention, hence the use of the handcuffs and the whip in that Angel Delight filled bathtub. As he said at the time as well, his wife was standing beside him at this difficult time, much to his obvious relief. Especially when it seemed during in obligatory tear-stained TV interview she would much rather be standing behind him holding her personal favourite from her selection of high-quality kitchen knives in her hand.
The lady of marketable intimacy, of course, sold her story to the highest bidder. Originally, she claimed she was from Eastern Europe (which she later amended to Liverpool) and was trafficked into this country with the promise of becoming a reality TV star. However, later investigation by a rival tabloid discovered she’d turned to prostitution when disappointed by her failure in a TV talent show audition. Consequently, she turned to her current career as one with more potential for personal enrichment than that of being some pop Svengali’s latest paparazzi target.
Still, in the end though the politician was forced out of public life which meant there was one less of them out there wasting taxpayer’s money, if only for a while.
So, in the end, some good did come of it all.
[Books by David Hadley are available here (UK) or here (US)]
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