Can’t Get No Satisfaction

Well… I suppose… but really, you had to be there. Or, at least, in the almost immediate vicinity. These occurrences – despite the proliferating social media, 24-Hour news and the pot noodle... especially the latter, are still better experienced in the flesh… as it were.

Although, that old saw about the flesh being weak is not really applicable in situations such as this, not with those arms anyway. She also has the kind of face, the look, that… shall we say… er… discourages the disparaging remark. That and the way she chews buses as a between-snacks snack.

At least, she has – on doctor’s orders – cut down on the double-deckers.

Still, she has what is known as a formidable presence and is the sort of person who doesn’t stay at the back of any queue for long. She does have what is best described, at least when she is in earshot, as having a somewhat imposing physical presence. This, apparently enables her to appear at the front of any queue she joins almost as if by a process of osmosis or magic. Maybe, though, it is some vestige of the primal that emerges in those in her vicinity. Who, consequently, somehow feel – deep down – it is best not to have her behind you, especially not with your back turned to her. No doubt this is what somehow encourages her towards the front of the queue.

Maybe it is just her sense of entitlement. One that also seems to entitle her to grab whatever she feels she wants, often on a whim. Which many, subsequently gingerly-stepping, men have discovered at closing time when her desires take an amorous turn. A time when she often reaches out a random hand towards any seemingly-satisfactorily encumbered pair of trousers.

Refusal is not an option, at least if the aforementioned grabbed articles are if not your pride and joy then at least something you would prefer to remain attached to.

Hence my attempt to sneak out quietly now at this time in the early morning. A time once only beloved by whistling milkmen, but now a bare deserted street. The quiet only broken by her earth-shattering snores as she – at last – sleeps the sleep of the finally satisfied.