Obviously the giraffe was a bit of a give-away, especially as it required a somewhat longer lead than is usually the case. However, as the wife pointed out to the assistant, the security guard, the assistant manager and - in the end – the manager herself, the sign on the door said: No Dogs, and as far as science can determine, it has been fairly well-established that a giraffe is not a dog.
Still, they wouldn't let us past the fresh meat counter, despite us pointing out – with reference to the almighty Google itself on the wife's mobile – that the giraffe isn't, by any stretch of the imagination, a carnivore.
However, we - after the altercation was left unresolved - did decide against taking the giraffe down the fresh bread aisle as a crusty loaf is often enough to have him straining at the leash.
I don’t know if you've ever tried taking a giraffe to obedience classes. If you have, you - like me - will have been bewildered by the snobbery of poodle owners and why they build local church halls with such low ceilings. The vet bill for a giraffe neck massage doesn’t come cheap, and they only ever think you are taking the piss when you phone up the pet insurance companies and ask for a quote for a giraffe.
Anyway, next week the wife and I have decided we'll take the Bengali tiger shopping with us. We do anticipate much politer shop staff – if only from a distance.
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