‘Hmm….’ The shopkeeper looked at me. ‘What sort of thing are you looking for, exactly?’
‘Something… Something… something that will show my anger, my wrath, my displeasure,’ I said, feeling the anger returning.
‘Ah, right.’ The shopkeeper looked around his wares. ‘One of those.’
‘One of what,’ I said.
‘Oh, we get a lot of that from… hobbyists like you.’ He leant forward over the counter. ‘Let me guess… some sort of intelligent life is it, giving you the hump?’
I nodded. ‘How did you know?’
‘I’ve been in this game a few years now,’ he said. ‘My grandfather started this shop; there isn’t much we don’t know.’ He looked around the shop again. ‘We’ve seen it all.’
‘Humans,’ I said.
‘Ah,’ he said, nodding. ‘Humans….’
‘Humans, they are always the worst. Some of them even get the idea that you’ve made them in your own image.’
‘Cheeky buggers,’ I said.
‘You’ll have to be firm with them, otherwise they’ll start taking over your whole creation.’
‘I know,’ I said, sighing. ‘I made this nice little… garden … sort of place for them, just a pair of them, y’know. Next thing I know bloody civilisations of them all over the place.’
‘Typical,’ the shopkeeper said. ‘Have you thought about a flood?’
I nodded. ‘They built boats.’
‘Hmmm….’ He turned to the storeroom at the back ‘Hang on,’ he said.
‘Try this,’ he said on his return. He put a box down on the counter. The box shook, shimmied, and bounded. He put his hand down on it. The box bulged and shifted under his hand.
‘What’s that?’ I asked.
‘A plague…’ he said, opening the box carefully. ‘…of frogs.’
I looked in the box. ‘Six is not much of a plague.’
He sucked his teeth. ’ Sorry squire, can’t get the parts… you know how it is….’
I thought for a moment. Last time I’d looked at my creation some of those crafty humans had started inventing the wheel… admittedly it was triangular, but it was only a matter of time…. I looked up at the shopkeeper. ‘Wrap them up, I’ll take them.’
‘A wise choice, sir.’ The shopkeeper said, beaming at me.