Google+ A Tangled Rope: Household Security Concerns

Friday, September 28, 2012

Household Security Concerns

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Obviously, if you are considering using one of the more rapacious predators as some form of additional household security, then you should always make sure they clean up all the bloodstains off your doormat when they have finished discouraging unwelcome callers, otherwise you could end up with scavengers, such as a flock of vultures perched on your guttering, thus reducing property values in the locality and – in the case of a well-fed flock of vultures – risk of some damage to your guttering.

This did actually, turn out to be the case in one cul-de-sac in Tewksbury recently visited by a group of utility salespeople hoping to convert the residents from their current utility supplier to the one represented by the sales team. Unfortunately, no-one told them about either the pride of lions at number 32, or – for that matter - number 17’s rather hungry leopard. Although, one of the more altruistic members of the sales team did manage to warn his colleagues about the piranhas in number 12’s garden pond with his final scream.

Unfortunately, however, as most of the residents of the cul-de-sac were at number 27 for a swinger’s party, none of the residents had time to clear up the remaining body parts left by the various guard animals. Consequently, a large flock of vultures descended on what had been – up until then (apart from the screams of the mortally-wounded, of course) a quiet residential street.

Later estimates put the damage to the guttering of the various residences at several thousand pounds, as well as considerable vulture-related damage to quite a few flowerbeds and a broken front garden gate, as well as a rather unwelcome visit from a local TV news team.

However, as luck would have it, by the time the TV crew arrived the leopard was starting to feel a bit peckish again.

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