It was wet and cold. The rain poured down as we ran from street to street, the governmental Cheese-Detector vans hot on our trail. We had made the mistake of gathering our cell together for some rather splendid underground Stilton one of our most experienced bootleg cheese-makers had constructed, but someone left a window open.
The Cheese Detector vans were there in moments, screeching to a halt as the health police tumbled from them.
We ran, gathering the Stilton, the crackers, the butter and our crude homemade cheese knives as we scattered, each expecting the shouts of the anti-cheese tactical police and the thump of a bullet in our backs with every breathless step.
I had been involved in the underground since the days when the Health ministry first outlawed cheese for contravening of the If it Tastes Nice Then it Must be Bad for You law of 2023, which outlawed nearly all the food people liked to eat.
The government had – of course - banned smoking a long time before, and alcohol not long after that, but no-one had really expected them to keep on banning things, not after they’d banned elections, not being nice and having an unauthorised opinion almost ten years before.
It seemed that the governmental activists were still not happy, still troubled that their constant legislation had not - as yet – produced the perfect citizens living in the perfect society. Rather than their banning of everything they could think of making everything better, it seemed – illogically to them – only to make things worse.
It didn’t help that the populace of the European state didn’t seem to want to contribute to these various governmental schemes to make us into perfect citizens, or to co-operate with the various rules, laws and regulations the Brussels government came up with to make us all perfect.
The revolution had begun and the idealists amongst us dared to dream that one day England would return and we would once more be free-born Englishmen able to openly slice traditional English cheddar onto our crackers once again without fear.
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