Google+ A Tangled Rope: The Pickle-Recognition Wall Chart

Tuesday, August 09, 2011

The Pickle-Recognition Wall Chart

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Obviously, by now you should all have received your official government-issued and EU-mandated Pickle-Recognition wall chart which must – by EU law – be displayed in every room where there is a possibility of unrecognised pickles being dispensed.

It is claimed, mainly by EU bureaucrats, that this will lead to a far greater efficiency at meal times throughout the EU and will streamline the currently haphazard snack-time experience throughout the EU. Those same Eurocrats are also confidently discussing the future introduction of a common EU-wide evening snack experience, possibly featuring the pickled onion, although not without some initial resistance from the French.

However, despite, some of the more obvious benefits of a Europe-wide standard of pickle recognition, especially at, say, summer buffets where hesitation in front of the pickled beetroot and pickled cabbage can sometimes cause complete buffet-wide gridlock, many in Europe feel that this is just another case of the European parliament having too much time on its hands and just desperately searching around for more things it can legislate on, solely in order to justify its own existence.

On the other hand, though, those of you torn between the picked onion, the piccalilli and the sweet pickle when contemplating what would be the ideal accompaniment for your pork pie, say during,a particularly griping late-night film, will – quite possibly – be grateful for any advice, even if it does come from the EU – that will help you make up your mind before the advert-break is over.

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