Spadgecock Environs was not only the UK's first Slut Badger Awareness 'Tsar', he was - and this is, relatively, unknown - a person who was in no other way remarkable. In fact, he is only mentioned here because I can't think of anything else to write about.
I suppose there must be some who would be intrigued by Spadgecock's full and remarkably perverted sex life, especially the notorious incident featuring Environs himself, the traffic warden, several under-age small woodland mammals (including seven slut badgers, ironically enough!), a headmistress from a local Private school and the swimming pool filled with custard.
However, I know that the readership of this… er… thingy have their minds set upon much higher things than mere prudish 'revelations' about the failings of those in the public eye who, through their own weakness, find they cannot live up to the high and exacting standards maintained by this island's proud tradition of noble and upstanding tabloid journalism, of which we have heard such a wearying amount over the last few days.
This being so we will swiftly move on sometime in the very near future to continue our discussion of Kant's Categorical Imperative and its relationship to the modern shopping experience - especially in relation to out-of-season strawberries.
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