Google+ A Tangled Rope: Working Times Directives and the Undead

Friday, May 06, 2011

Working Times Directives and the Undead

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Ah, but remember your precious tin of blessed golden syrup may not necessarily protect you against all the devils, demons, estate agents, lawyers and other unholy manifestations of evil that the masses ranks of the ungodly may hurl at you, at least until it is time for a tea-break anyway.

Even the minions of evil (including the undead, zombies and other allied trades of the ex-living) are to be, it seems, covered by the latest European Union Working Time Directives. so that even the hordes of the undead, or the evil-working minions of the devil* himself are entitled to fixed breaks during their working day (or night – whichever is applicable) as well as weekends (or other mutually-agreed days off) as well as statutory holidays (including bank holidays - and for those manifestations of the unholy - religious holy days).

As for such things, ornaments and devices used to ward off evil, the undead and so on, including religious symbols, and the tin of holy blessed golden syrup mentioned above, these may constitute workplace hazards for these various creatures. Therefore, such objects may be banned from the workplace, especially if they are used to prevent these creatures of evil performing their allotted tasks as set out in their workplace contracts. Obviously, this means that, for example, anyone attempting to annihilate zombies and other such hordes of the undead while in the place of work of such entities such as a graveyard, or during the normal working hours of the ungodly, could face legal action, up to and including imprisonment for violating the rights of any such hordes of devilry.

 

*N.B. Please note that this particular devil may not be applicable to all religions and/or all subsets of any particular religion. Please see the small print at the rear of your holy book of choice to see whether your particular religion supports manifestations and/or embodiments of evil.

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