"So this is the Small Rotating Device, on the window ledge, is it? Remarkable. I have seen many Small Rotating Devices in my life. After all, I am - as you well know - the Professor of Small Rotating Devices at Evesham University. But, never, never, in all my long - and dare I say it, distinguished - career have I ever seen such a fascinating Small Rotating Device. You must be so proud. I would love to have it for my collection of Small Rotating Devices. However, judging from the expression on your face whatever amount of money I offer would only be an insult."
"Okay, then. I'll give you 5p for this wonderful Small Rotating Device."
"Thank you. Of course, it is far more than I would normally pay for a Small Rotating Device, but for a piece such as this… well, the sky is the limit."
"Would you like a bag to put it in?"
"There you are."
"Thank you. One more thing?"
"I don't suppose there is any chance of a shag, is there?"
"Oh, go on then."
"Oh, I see. So, do you want it here, now, then?"
"Er… well. As you see…."
"Ah. In that case, I'll fetch my trowel."
"Excellent. But… please…."
"Please, hurry or I may have to release the badger."