A Conspiracy of Penguins

You will, by now, be – like me – wondering about the rather curious silence about the penguins in the mainstream media. Of course, the most obvious conclusion is that there is some sort of conspiracy involved. Perhaps even that those cunning and beguiling penguins have infiltrated far deeper into human society then we, who take such matters seriously, have even realised.

However, it now seems fairly conclusive that the penguins themselves are far too subtle for mere conspiracy, especially as most conspiracy theories in the end tend to turn out to be combinations of cock-up, human stupidity, accident and co-incidence rather that the subtle manipulations of sinister cabals.

The penguins are far too subtle clever and manipulative to do anything like that. Just look, by way of example, how they have infiltrated the UK’s vital biscuit supply lines. Should it come to war, and we should not rule it out – even at this stage - they will already be in a position to disrupt our vital tea breaks, especially on the front line, and don’t forget how the penguins are already supremely adapted to hostile terrain. Flippers many be at somewhat of a disadvantage when dealing with modern battlefield automatic weapons, but then so are anti-frostbite mittens.

It should be – quite obviously – a matter of deep concern to us all, but there still reasons this deep mystery of why the complete silence about it all in the mainstream media. For that – for once – I have no answer…