Once upon a time, you dressed so fine and went on holiday to Aberystwyth with your special friend from the accounts department of your local crime syndicate. It was there at the now almost legendary Aberystwyth Stoat Collective you began you long slow decent into Business Studies and other such perversions of all that is natural and good about sex between man, woman, and several small furry mammals liberally coated in the lubricant of your choice.
Now, having said that (and I did check, it was – indeed – me speaking), it is time to move on and examine the compatibility of our nether regions, for today is that special day when we must take a firm grip on our grouting trowels and head off into the sunset. Fortunately, sunset is still quite early at this time of the year, so you will have no feeble excuses about the immanence of your bedtime… again.
Once we arrive at the appointed place, we must anoint ourselves, and any nearby recalcitrant badgers, with the appropriate unguents. Then we must fasten the mystical devices to the special places with the holy pliers. Only when all this is done can we begin the ceremony of Exercising the Demons of Advertising from all our favourite television sets, satellite receivers, cable boxes, digital set top boxes and other such devices.
The Demons of Advertising are such wily beasts, capable of insinuating themselves deep within all the technology we hold precious in order to subvert our very thought processes into channels they can control and direct in order to encourage us to fill up our already o’er brimmed lives with even more unnecessary stuff.
Unless we do our solemn duty and regularly disinfect, fumigate and protect our precious things of the electronic entertainments then they, and hence - then we, will once more fall under the spell of these evil demons.
No comments:
Post a Comment