Pop Star Warning Issued

With the news that Paul McCartney is now the latest in a seemingly endless line of pop stars - such as Geldof, String and Bonio - talking yet more bollocks to the public about something or other, the British public has decided that – at long last – it has simply had enough.

Consequently, today, the UK population issued a statement to those pop stars who insist upon imposing their latest non-music related musing on the world. The statement said:

This constant patronising pontificating must end now, as these utterances by pop – and film – stars are reaching dangerous levels of smug self-congratulation. So, we – the British people call upon any pop star that feels a need to display their - rather limited – understanding of complex issues to the public, to pause and reflect for a moment. Then to – quite simply – Just shut the fuck up! Just because you occasionally have –every now and then - made a tune that quite a few people thought was pretty nice, that doesn’t automatically make you an expert on anything. Just because you can afford to employ people to regard your every utterance as an epigrammatic pearl of wisdom from a combination of a renaissance man and a philosopher-king, it doesn’t mean that the rest of us will take it seriously. Rather the opposite in most cases.

A spokesman for the general public went on to say that if these pop stars do have something they urgently want to get off their chests then they should consider starting a blog, in that way the general public can then simply go and blithely ignore it, as they do with any other blog. The spokesman continued:

Quite simply we have enough trouble with politicians interfering in our lives instead of just trying to get on with running the country a little less incompetently than the previous lot. So what we do not need is a bunch of overpaid in-love-with-their-own-ego twats giving us the dubious benefit of their sixth-form mentality ideas on how to save the world. Frankly, pop stars, we just don’t care. So unless it involves telling us about your drink and drug-fuelled orgies with hordes of teenage groupies - possibly involving the satanic abuse of small domesticated animals – then just keep your mouths shut and keep out of our faces.

However, if you do have a dire need for the world to acknowledge the breadth of your wisdom, or your nobleness of purpose, then maybe you should post a link on Twitter to a nice photo of a little fluffy kitten being cute. That’s the only way anyone will ever really change the world.