New technological Breakthrough Announced!

People speak of the internet, the walkman, the personal computer, the mobile phone, the anti-itchy-knee device and - even - nuclear-powered shopping tigers as the defining technological innovations of recent years. But, if his new prototype lives up to its potential then Porrigestain Mankyvest will surely be the contemporary inventor whose name lives on into well into the future.

Although still at the prototype stage, his - as yet unnamed - device could be the one technological innovation that will revolutionize the lives and careers of so many people who work in public service jobs. From politicians and their civil servants through local government workers right down to the sales assistants in computer retail chain stores, this device could undoubtedly revolutionise the jobs these people do. In turn, Mankyvest's device will revolutionise the lives of the rest of us, the general public, too, who are forced to interact with the people performing these public service jobs as we go about our daily lives. So in short, this device has revolutionary worldwide implications.

Quite simply, the Mankyvest device works like this: When in contact with a member of public needing a specific service to be performed by the public service worker, then that worker just enters twenty-seven personally specific data pieces into the device using any three of the integrated keyboards. Then the public service worker presses four function keys and waits, for often as little as 30 seconds. Then, after a thorough and painstaking analysis of the data provided, the machine is able to print out - using its own integrated printer - a set of instructions, with easy-to-follow diagrams, for that public service worker. If the public service worker then follows the instructions exactly, it will - for the first time in the history of such public service jobs - enable that public service worker to distinguish easily - and with an astonishing accuracy rate of over 76% - their arse from their elbow.