Are You Ready To Rock ‘N’ Roll?

All Right kids!

Are you ready to rock ‘n’ roll?

In which case please:

• fill out the appropriate release forms
• make sure you are wearing a high visibility boogie-woogie jacket
• for those attempting heavy metal please be advised that hard rock hats must be worn in all areas
• Be advised that all rock music is © The Devil and therefore the Management ™ cannot be held responsible for the loss or sale of any patron’s soul
• If necessary please take the rock ‘n’ roll doctor’s advice before proceeding
• Any suspected case of dance fever should be reported to the rock ’n’ roll nurse immediately
• Please note that doing the funky chicken contravenes several EU animal welfare directives.
• In case of fire, please take the Stairway To Heaven rather than use the lifts.
• Rockin’ all night long is now no longer possible under safety legislation that prevents anyone rockin’ for more than 2 hours without a twenty-minute break
• Goodness Gracious, those suffering an attack of ‘Great Balls of Fire’ should seek immediate medical attention
• Do NOT step on my blue suede shoes
• In The Midnight Hour is now classed as unsociable hours working and therefore ‘doing all the things I told you’ will be charged at double time
• Any Foxy Lady found on the premises will be quarantined as a precaution against rabies
• You cannot Light My Fire without a permit.
• Eight Days A Week contravenes the EU Working Times Directive